sexta-feira, outubro 13, 2006

A Razão de Pedro e o Lobo

pedro e o lobo
Da série «histórias mal contadas» temos hoje Pedro e o Lobo. A história de um rapazinho que gostava de dizer inverdades – um eufemismo político que significa que o rapaz era um miserável mentiroso, digno de uma tribo somali sem qualquer tipo de lubrificação afrodisíaca.
Conta a história que o rapaz, ostentando a função de apascentador de ovelhas na sua carteira profissional, manifestava uma fixação esquisita, de índole meramente sexual, no lobo que mantinha uma relação contra-natura com o capuchinho vermelho e sua avózinha. Pedro tinha, obviamente, problemas. Todas as suas tentativas de se inscrever no movimento gay lésbico bissexual e transgênero tinham sido indeferidas pelo facto da coisa não envolver animais. «Nem domésticos, nem selvagens» tinham-lhe sentenciado lá no posto de recrutamento do GLBT. Mas Pedro não se conformava com esta discriminação – se o movimento era tudo ao molhe e fé em Deus porque raio não incluiam animais?
Desesperado, Pedro passava os dias a arrastar-se pelos bosques, gritando «Lobo, lobo!» na vã esperança de que o animal lhe aparecesse à frente (ou atrás).
Mas o máximo que Pedro conseguiu foi enervar o pessoal lá da aldeia. Sempre que ele gritava «Lobo» a malta pegava nas gadanhas e vinha, desaustinada, defender as ovelhas. Ao fim de alguns dias de repetidos falsos alarmes a populaça perdeu a paciência e, mesmo sem recorrer a uma tribo somali devidamente untadinha, presenteou Pedro com um andar diferente. Pedro gostou. Desde aí perdeu completamente o interesse pelo lobo, mas não se coíbe de gritar por ele de vez em quando. Principalmente naqueles dias em que sente muito sozinho.

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