segunda-feira, dezembro 12, 2005

A Razão do Calendário de Garagem

cdgaragem
No seguimento da série de objectos inúteis do quotidiano temos o calendário de garagem. Este objecto distingue-se dos vulgares calendários pela quantidade de mulheres total ou parcialmente desnudas em poses do tipo «anda cá que és meu» ou «só te deixava os ossinhos», e pela sua localização muito particular: não há oficina mecânica deste país que não tenha um calendário de garagem. Há quem diga que o calendário de garagem é o manifesto de masculinidade do mecânico – e que se porventura não encontrar um calendário de garagem na sua oficina habitual, é muito provável que o seu mecânico seja gay. Pessoalmente acho esta leitura excessiva, mas não deixo de me questionar sobre o sucesso e a proliferação dos calendários de garagem nas oficinas e sobre a sua verdadeira função. Assinalar os dias do ano parece estar fora de questão, uma vez que isso pode ser feito com um qualquer calendário que não exiba umas glândulas mamárias proeminentes. O que nos leva ao cerne da questão: as gajas do calendário.
A verdadeira razão do calendário de garagem é a produtividade provocada pela testosterona, potenciada pelas boazonas em poses de cadelas com cio: o polimento da carroceria faz-se em muito menos tempo; o alinhamento da direcção é impressionantemente mais apurado; a calibragem das rodas adquire uma precisão robótica; a focagem de faróis faz inveja a qualquer robot de fábrica.
E em cada mês que passa, uma nova boazona vem substituír a anterior mantendo elevados os índices de produtividade.
Pergunto-me se isto não deveria ser considerado uma best practise para a Função Pública. Um calendário de garagem em cada repartição poderia ser a solução para este país.

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